Thinking About Divorce? Read This Before You Make Your Next Move
By Lauren Scieszinski Morse, Attorney at Law
If you’re reading this at 2:00 in the morning because you just discovered your spouse emptied a bank account, found suspicious text messages, or realized your marriage may not survive another year, you’re not alone.
Many of the people who sit across from me during an initial consultation never expected to be there. They are professionals, parents, business owners, teachers, nurses, and hardworking people who thought divorce was something that happened to someone else.
Then life happened.
And now they’re trying to figure out what comes next.
As a family law attorney, I have represented clients through some of the most difficult chapters of their lives. I’ve handled high-conflict custody disputes, complex property division cases, and divorces involving significant financial assets. While every case is different, there is one thing I see over and over again:
People often make critical mistakes before they ever speak with an attorney.
If you’re considering divorce, here are three things I want you to know.
First: Don’t Make Major Decisions Based on Emotion
I understand the urge.
You discover an affair. Your spouse says something hurtful. An argument escalates.
Your instinct may be to pack your bags, move out, clean out a bank account, or send a text message explaining exactly how you feel.
Don’t.
Some of the most damaging evidence I see in divorce cases comes from actions taken in the heat of the moment.
That angry text message may be read aloud in court.
That Facebook post may become an exhibit.
That impulsive financial decision may create legal problems that could have been avoided.
Divorce is emotional. It would be strange if it wasn’t.
But successful divorce litigation requires strategy, not reaction.
Before making a major decision, pause and seek legal advice.
Second: Start Gathering Information
One of the most common things I hear is:
“I don’t know what we own.”
Or:
“My spouse handles all the finances.”
If divorce may be on the horizon, start gathering information.
This includes:
- Tax returns
- Bank statements
- Retirement account information
- Mortgage documents
- Credit card statements
- Business records
- Insurance information
The goal is not to hide assets or create conflict.
The goal is to understand your financial picture.
Knowledge is power, and the sooner you understand the financial landscape, the better prepared you will be to make informed decisions.
Third: Your Children Are Watching More Than You Think
If you have children, this may be the most important thing you read today.
Children do not need perfect parents.
They need stable parents.
I often tell clients that one of the best things they can do during a divorce is to become the calm in the storm.
That doesn’t mean allowing bad behavior.
It doesn’t mean failing to protect your rights.
It means remembering that every conversation, every exchange, every argument, and every decision may affect your children.
The parents who tend to do best in custody litigation are often the ones who remain focused on the child’s needs, even when the other parent is creating chaos.
Judges notice that.
Children do too.
What Most People Get Wrong About Divorce
Many people assume divorce is about proving who was right and who was wrong.
Most of the time, it isn’t.
The legal system is focused on resolving issues.
Who will keep the house?
How will assets be divided?
What parenting arrangement serves the best interests of the children?
How should support be calculated?
The clients who achieve the best outcomes are usually the ones who stay focused on solving those problems rather than reliving every hurt and betrayal.
That’s easier said than done, of course.
Which is why having the right attorney matters.
A Final Thought
If you’re thinking about divorce, you do not have to make every decision today.
You do not need to have all the answers.
You do not need to know exactly what your future will look like.
You simply need to take the next right step.
For some people, that step is gathering information.
For others, it’s scheduling a consultation.
And for some, it’s simply learning enough about the process to feel less afraid.
Whatever stage you’re in, remember this:
The decisions you make in the early days of a divorce can have a lasting impact on your finances, your children, and your future.
Make those decisions from a place of knowledge—not panic.
If you are considering divorce or have questions about child custody, parenting plans, or other family law matters in Tennessee, we would be honored to help you understand your options and protect what matters most.